It seems the appropriate time to look ahead to the future — as it would be impossible to look back to the future, Hollywood blockbusters not withstanding.
It is with extreme verbosity that I take this opportunity to announce the formal formation of a the David Reid for Bradenton Beach Mayor Exploratory Campaign Committee for my 40th anniversary run for office in 2017.
It doesn’t matter if there is an election set for that year, in Bradenton Beach apparently it’s commonplace to recall the mayor and create an open seat.
Why now? A 2017 election is far enough away that there can be a lot of campaign cash raised.
Let me state up front there will be no limit as to the amount of money we will accept as donations. No money is dirty money in my campaign. We will spend every dime we raise.
Who will be the first $10,000 donor? Your reward is a parking place directly across Gulf Drive from city hall with your name on it.
The obvious person for this would be Ed Chiles, as it would be an easier, faster way to get those beachfront parking spaces.
The only roadblock I see in my plan is that the current lawsuit to oust Mayor Bill Shearon will still be in court by the time the balloting rolls around.
I was an over-amped youth in 1977 when I first ran for the job, having lost to the 12-year incumbent whose name you’ve forgotten so why bring him up?
In the 1977 platform, I promised voters we’d hold weekly beachfront “Meet the Mayor” sessions across from city hall. In the sand, in the sunshine. (Yes, right on the same spot as those pesky BeachHouse parking spaces).
In hindsight comboing it with a happy hour might have won the 1977 election.
The other issue was to consolidation the three island cities. It was my plan to be the last Mayor of Bradenton Beach.
The logic was with three cities you have 15 councilmembers. Why?
Three Mayors. Why?
Three of everything. Triple the cost. On a strip of land barely seven miles long there are three municipalities that only the natives know here the city limits change. And it’s all one big hurricane away from being a memory.
There has always been an abundance of egos to fill those seats so consolidation wasn’t because there weren’t enough characters to fill the roles. The point was united the entire island would be better served. This proposal still has validity despite today’s date.
The plan was to be deemed crazy. I was, too. The perfect qualifications for being a U.S. Congressman. Which was my plan of progress in my then perfectly planned career. Alas, 39 voters thwarted what was to be my life’s mission.
Now, 38 years later, island consolidation might not have been the smartest suggestion. Certainly the cost of island government would be diminished. But at what cost?
Without the three cities-three mayors, the likes of Holmes Beach Mayor Carmel Monti might never have been mayor of Holmes Beach.
Who then would have brought forth his proposal to have a gondola system to ferry people across Sarasota Bay on overhead cables attached to towers?
Have you already forgotten Monti’s Pylon Flying Circus.
Not to cede the trophy for genius too quickly, the new mayor of the North End, Dan Murphy, is giving “shoot first, think later” a new face.
He embodie’s the law named for his ancestor’s. Murphy’s Law is in full swing on the north end of the island.
But this is about 2017. This is about our future.
Today aside, if I were running for mayor I know one proposal, without tongue in cheek, would be to pursue the construction of a 4-foot-high seawall at the now mean high tide line around the entire sland. What? Nonsense? Who would that benefit besides the contractors and their employees? That’s the 30 year question. I won’t be running for mayor in 2047 but, if I were, the campaign slogan would be “I told you so.”
No, the 2017 campaign will be my last run at this windmill. I pledge to continue my plan for the Manatee Avenue Tunnel, as has been suggested to FDOT for some 15 years. Had we built it then and charged a toll it would have more than paid for itself. The Sunshine Skyway Bridge toll has more than paid its way.
And the island, sans bridge, would truly be an island. Now is not the time to run that flag up the pole again. Voters might think I’m not serious. And you never want voters to think.
I am looking for a location to launch the campaign. Thirty-five years ago, I owned a business on the Bradenton Beach/ Holmes Beach city line.
The Oar House.
Any voters that remember the Oar House were most likely not customers. After all, we have only so many braincells to burn. 2600 Gulf Drive is now condos, so no campaign kick-off concert there.
Concert? What better way to launch a campaign? Boat parades are so 1970s.
I have a call into Tom Waits to see if he would reprise his evening at the bar as a campaign fundraiser. (Memo to self: Order a case of blackberry brandy).
As well, a formal letter to the Allman Brothers Band management has gone out. Gregg still has a $157.25 bar tab to clear up. If he’s willing to do my kickoff concert, that debt will be wiped clean and forgiven. The only caveat is that Dickie Betts must also play. Dickie brought Gregg to the Oar House in the first place.
Finally, I pledge to bring even more national attention to the hidden paradise of Anna Maria Island. Reading comments online about the current state of affairs, it seems everyone loves the throngs that are flocking to this 20th century paradise.
If only it weren’t the 21st century.
Now, until I can fully set up the campaign bank accounts, all donors should make checks to The Islander. Put “Reid for Mayor” on the memo line. They’re building a scholarship fund for their late editor, Paul Roat.
All funds for this campaign, and thanks to Citizens United there is NO LIMIT to what you can donate to this campaign’s success, will go to scholars or a rum party.
Don’t be A Fool!
Get aboard the campaign today. If you have one lick of sense, you are already aboard and pulling out the checkbook. The earlier you donate the better patronage job you’ll have. We need to raise a lot of money. After all, this is island politics.
David Reid, soon to be your new neighbor
P.S. The naysayers will note I’m not residing on the island and therefore can’t run. Mere details. For years unqualified people have been running (and getting elected) in Manatee County — I’m next.
P.S.S. Happy April Fool’s Day.